As an online therapist based in North Berwick, I've worked with many clients experiencing the joys and challenges of the perinatal period. While this time is often portrayed as one of pure happiness, for some, it can be marked by trauma and loss. Today, I'd like to explore the sensitive topic of working with trauma and loss during pregnancy and early parenthood.

The perinatal period, which spans from conception to one year after birth, can be a vulnerable time for many. Experiences such as miscarriage, stillbirth, traumatic birth, or postnatal depression can leave lasting emotional scars. These events can be deeply traumatic, shaking one's sense of safety and control, and challenging expectations of what parenthood should be like.

It's crucial to understand that there's no 'right' way to feel after experiencing trauma or loss during this time. Some people may feel intense grief, while others might experience numbness or shock. Some may struggle with anxiety about future pregnancies, while others might grapple with feelings of guilt or shame. All of these responses are normal and valid.

Working through trauma and loss in the perinatal period often involves several key aspects:

Acknowledging the loss: Recognising the significance of your experience is an important first step. This can be particularly challenging when the loss occurs early in pregnancy, as others may not fully understand its impact.

Processing emotions: Providing a safe space to explore and express the complex emotions surrounding the trauma or loss is crucial. This might involve working through feelings of grief, anger, guilt, or anxiety.

Addressing physical reminders: For some, physical changes or sensations associated with pregnancy or birth can trigger distressing memories. We can work together to develop coping strategies for managing these triggers.

Rebuilding a sense of safety: Trauma can shatter one's feeling of security. Part of the healing process involves gradually rebuilding this sense of safety and control.

Navigating relationships: Trauma and loss can strain relationships. We might explore how to communicate your needs to partners, family, and friends, and how to handle well-meaning but potentially hurtful comments from others.

Looking to the future: For some, thinking about future pregnancies or children can be anxiety-provoking. We can work on developing coping strategies and building resilience for the journey ahead.

Remember, healing from trauma and loss is not about 'getting over it' or 'moving on'. It's about finding ways to integrate this experience into your life story and rediscovering hope and joy alongside your grief.

If you're struggling with trauma or loss during the perinatal period, please know that you're not alone. It's okay to seek help, and it's okay to take the time you need to heal. Whether you're dealing with a recent loss, processing a traumatic birth experience, or finding that past traumas are resurfacing during this time, support is available.

If you'd like to explore how therapy might help you navigate this challenging time, please don't hesitate to reach out. Together, we can work towards healing, helping you to honour your experiences while also moving forward with compassion and hope.